My Thoughts on the Book that Changed my Life. Twice.
It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover
I am a BIG fan of YA fantasy. I find it entertaining, immersive, and everything along that line. However, I wasn’t always an addicted-fantasy-fan. As a child, the first series I was able to complete was Triple Nine Sleuths (mystery), and the first few standalone I fell in love with were all romance novels.
I first picked up the book It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover in 2016, five years ago. It was between two books in a library, and I borrowed it almost immediately after reading the blurb.
I did not understand much of the story back then, especially because I was not even a teenager yet. But I remember it.
Vividly.
There were two main reasons, with the second weighing heavier than the first.
One: it was the first-ever physical book I’ve read with smut, so obviously, it engraved itself permanently in my mind. I was quite taken aback and naive to think that it did not exist outside Wattpad, on a printed page.
Two: it changed my life. There were words that stuck with me, so steadfast in my head that forgetting it was impossible. The diary that the main character, Lily, wrote to Ellen DeGeneres never truly left my mind. Even as the memories of the book faded and dulled after I returned it, I remembered phrases like “There is no such thing as bad people. We are all just people who do bad things” and “Just keep swimming”.
When I finished reading It Ends With Us for the first time, I smiled and put it aside. In the coming week, I would recall the phrase at least twice. Then, thrice in the next few months until it became something I thought of once a year.
I forgot the title of the book. I forgot the author. I forgot almost everything but little snippets of scenes that infrequently sprinted across my mind. And a year (or two) ago, I wished to find this book again, although it was ridiculous and almost too slim a chance out of the millions of books on the planet Earth. I mean, I can’t find a book that left a tremendous impact on me as a child just by typing “Book with just keep swimming phrase” on Google.
So I let it be, and I dismissed the wish and borrowed new books.
Five years later, and it is the year 2021. I am still an avid reader. I write my own books now and managed to publish one of them. I don’t visit the library as much as I did because now I go straight to a bookstore and work on building a library within my home. I rarely read mystery now, and YA fantasy is the section where I browse.
I joined Booktok on Tiktok, and multiple videos suggested It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover. They say this book is heartbreaking, that they would sell their soul to read it again for the first time. They claim it is the best book they’ve ever read.
I was, inevitably, intrigued.
I visited a bookstore and purchased the book, then read it the day after. That was yesterday. I finished the book twenty minutes ago, and my heart is in 29 pieces. Maybe it’s because I’ve grown up and I understand the story now, maybe it’s because my wish came true, maybe it’s the nostalgia or because I skipped through the Notes from the Author page five years ago.
Or maybe, it is because I genuinely felt like I was reading it for the first time, and I might have sold my soul. (I’m kidding. I mean, I hope I didn’t.)
It was insane. I don’t want to exaggerate it, but it truly was. I didn’t even realise I’ve been waiting for this book to find my hands again until I reached page 60. I bookmarked it after gasping out loud. Then, the memories came rushing back in an instant. I questioned myself a few times, but I knew it was the book from five years ago, right as I came across scenes that have once played in my mind before.
I am still in a state of disbelief because, out of the uncountable number of books in this world, I managed to pick this one for the second time.
This time, after reading the last page, I didn’t smile. I had a bookgasm and cried so hard that I kind of died inside. I don’t know; what I do know is that I’m going to read every single one of Colleen Hoover’s books.
The phrases are now fresh in my mind. I left Medium for about seven months and haven’t been writing my blogs for a few days. But reading this book just gave me the most powerful surge of inspiration, and now, I just hope to write until I run out of time.
The meaning behind It Ends With Us is so genuine, and it’s horrible that there are people out there who live through domestic abuse. The characters are authentic, and I fell in love with the truth behind this book instead of the storyline. That’s what makes a book life-changing. It’s doesn’t feel like fiction at all, and I learned so much from a book alone.
Just keep swimming.
I’ll read this book again and again, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get through it without willingly shattering my heart just to piece it together after I’m done.
